My friend couldn’t shake that comment. He said it gripped him, in a good way. His only response was this: “Fuck apathy.”

After he relayed this story to me, I asked him, “What would happen if we did?”

“Nothing bad.”

Exactly. What are we so afraid of?

What if we rejected our indifferent, apathetic attitudes and actively pursued a life of purpose? What if we actually lived the Great Commission?

Forget the hot mess that is church as we know it, with its hierarchical structure, contrived relationships, systems, programs and the like, and pursue only what Jesus called us to do: “Go into the world and make disciples, and obey everything I (Jesus) have commanded you.”

Jonathan Fokker at Simple Church puts it this way:

Jesus told us to make disciples by teaching them to obey His commands (Matt. 28:18-20). He also said, “If you love me, obey my commands” (John 14:15). We need to teach disciples to obey the commands of Jesus out of love. You cannot obey without love otherwise you end up in legalism. But love without obedience is no real love at all. You show your love to Jesus by obedience to Him. This article describes the 7 basic commands of Jesus the first church obeyed. This will provide a framework for us where to focus on when we make disciples.

What are the commands of Christ we need to obey as disciples of Christ?
Jesus commanded many things but we can group them under seven basic commands. The 3,000 new believers of the first New Testament church obeyed the commands of Jesus in their basic form from the beginning (Acts 2:37-47). The only basic command that is not named is love, but we see it in their fellowship and giving.

The 7 basic commands are:
• Repent, believe and receive the Holy Spirit (regeneration) (Mark 1:15; John 3:16; John 20:22)
• Be baptized and live the life that it initiates (ongoing transformation) (Matt. 28:18-20; Rom. 6:1-14)
• Love God, neighbour, believers, enemies (forgive) (Matt. 5:43-48; 22:36-40; John 13:34-35, Luke 10:25-37)
• Break bread (The Lord’s Supper) (Matt. 26:26-28; John 4:24)
• Pray (private and family devotions, intercession and spiritual warfare) (John 16:24)
• Give (stewardship of our time, treasure and talents) (Luke 6:38)
• Make disciples (witness for Jesus, shepherd believers, teach the Word, train leaders, send missionaries) (Matt 28:18-20)

http://simplechurch.eu/index.php/toolbox/full/7-basic-commands-of-obeying-jesus-out-of-love/

So seriously, consider what could happen if we lived the great commission and actually went through lives consciously obeying Jesus and making disciples?

Just the other day, I was speaking with another friend about my journey of leaving church to find Jesus, and he asked how I would know that I’d “arrived” at a redemptive destination. There are many variables and questions still to be addressed and answered. One question I wrestle with is this: “What is church? And if I don’t know what it is, how will I know when I find it? If I don’t know where I’m going, how will I get there?”

My friend answered with this, “Church is no longer the point. Jesus is.”

Jesus didn’t call me to build, or even go, to church. He called me to obey him and make disciples. Pretty simple.

Then I read the brochure. There it was, right there in the “What to bring” section:

Fishing Rod.
Tackle.
Bible.
An Unchurched Friend!

Now, I love fishing and the friend who invited me, and I am looking forward to this event,  but I can’t stand the presumptive language that the church uses. What’s with the labels?

My biggest question is this: What do they intend to do with these “unchurched friends”? I can only assume they are going to spend a great deal of time trying to remove the “un” from my “churched” status.

Remember, I am a passionate follower of Jesus. This has nothing to do with salvation or relationship with God. By the looks of the brochure, the leaders of my friend’s church are clearly interested in churching the unchurched. I am a former pastor/church leader, I know the game.

According to my six-year-old’s “Growing with Grammar” workbook, the prefix “un” means “not” or “to remove”. Generally speaking, words containing “un” usually refer to a situation we seek to resolve, or something that has and insufficient amount of something else.  For example, we call someone unkind, we are describing a deficiency in the kindness they show others. Where someone has been treated unjustly, we seek justice. When something is unsafe, we act to make it safe.

So what does a churched group with someone who is unchurched? I guess I am about to find out. I hope it doesn’t hurt.

Peace & Love ;~)

PS – I really am excited to take my girls fishing with my friend, a bunch of guys and their kids. Maybe we can just be the church without making it official :)

Kathy Escobar recently wrote a series of posts about “rebuilding after deconstructing” which really spoke to me because of what we’ve had to go through over the past year.

She writes:

I know many people who have gone, are going through, or will go through a gut-wrenching, excruciatingly painful and lonely season in their faith called “deconstruction”:

~ where much of what we believe shifts.
~ where things we once held dear unravel.
~ where the number of questions begin to overtake all of our past certainties.
~ where we find ourselves saying “uh oh, our faith might be in big trouble.”
~ where we lose the safety of familiar communities because we’ve changed.

If you’re at that place where you have begun asking questions that make the whole house of cards fall down, then this series is for you. I strongly suggest that you take some time to read it and process it!

Here are the links to her whole series:

rebuilding after deconstructing
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/16/rebuilding-after-deconstructing/

rebuilding after deconstructing – honoring the process
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/17/rebuilding-after-deconstruction-1-honoring-the-process/

rebuilding after deconstructing – acknowledging losses
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/18/rebuilding-after-deconstructing-2-acknowledging-losses/

rebuilding after deconstructing – finding what works
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/23/rebuilding-after-deconstructing-4-finding-what-works/

rebuilding after deconstructing - celebrating what was
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/24/rebuilding-after-deconstructing-5-celebrating-what-was/

rebuilding after deconstructing – igniting passion
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/25/rebuilding-after-deconstructing-6-igniting-passion/

rebuilding after deconstructing – exploring possibilities
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/26/rebuilding-after-deconstructing-7-exploring-possibilities/

rebuilding after deconstructing - trusting the path
http://kathyescobar.com/2012/04/27/last-post-for-rebuilding-after-deconstructing-8-trusting-the-path/

A few months ago, I took an amazing online course with Kathy Escobar and Phyllis Mathis. This course, called Walking Wounded: Hope for those Hurt by Church, was instrumental in my emotional and spiritual recovery from church hurt. The cost of the course is $49 + some of your time, but let me tell you, it was worth it!

This course was so helpful to me, that Churchburned is going to be sponsoring the first 4 people that contact us who are ready to commit some time and emotion to their own emotional and spiritual recovery. That’s right, you can take this journey with Kathy and Phyllis and an group of people just like you, and we’ll cover the cost! UPDATED: The free registrations have all been claimed. Congratulations to Marc, Amy, Megan & Joni. Enjoy the journey. 

Other than making a commitment to yourself that you are ready to invest between 30 minutes and 1 hour of your time into your own personal recovery, there will be no cost to you. There are no requirements to enter, either. All you have to do is send an email to contact@churchburned.com, and I will send you the information you’ll need.

I’ve included some information on the Walking Wounded course below to help you get a better idea on what the course is all about.

Feel like you’ve been hurt by the church? Ready to start moving forward? Let me know by being one of the first four people contact me by email at contact@churchburned.com, and I will make the arrangements for you to take this wonderful course absolutely free.

peace,

Travis

————————————

 

For most of us, our faith journey is the most essential thing about us, the closest thing to the core of who we are. So whenever some major shift in perspective rocks our faith, or we’re involved in a conflict involving our faith community, it goes deep, affecting our soul in some surprising ways.

If you are feeling lost, disillusioned or hurt as a result of a shift in your faith or by a negative church (or other faith community) experience, this just might be the class for you.

Join us April 9, 2012 for Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt by Church. Class price is $49 and includes daily posts (Monday through Friday) and weekly exercises in journaling, storytelling, and wellness practices.

Course Description

Thousands of honest, sincere people are finding themselves on the outside of a faith system they once held dear. The sadness, anger, disillusionment and fear can be debilitating. And confusing.

Have You:

• Been asked to leave a church or told you’re not a “good fit”?
• Felt forced to conform or remain consistently overlooked?
• Been told that you are loved but not your sin?
• Questioned leadership or theology and found yourself on the outside?
• Felt sad, angry, afraid, lost, or disoriented after painful church experiences?
• Experienced a significant shift in your theology or faith perspective and find yourself feeling disoriented and unsure?

You are not lost, and you are not alone.

Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt By Church is designed to help you move through the painful and confusing aftermath of a negative faith-based experience.

In this 4 week class you will:

• Connect with others who have similar experiences
• Identify your losses and reclaim your dreams
• Tell your story and receive support
• Work through your unfinished business
• Learn effective practices to restore a sense of sanity

Through interviews, conversation, journaling and storytelling, Kathy Escobar and Phyllis Mathis will guide you through the confusion and into a place of purpose and peace.

Learn more about what to expect »

The Instructors

Kathy Escobar co-pastors the Refuge, an eclectic faith community in North Denver dedicated to those on the margins of life and faith (www.therefugeonline.org). She journeys with people in hard places as a spiritual director, teacher, and group facilitator. A Pepperdine University graduate, she also has a Masters degree in Management/Organizational Development and a Certificate in Evangelical Spiritual Guidance from Denver Seminary. Kathy is the author of Down We Go: Living into the Wild Ways of Jesus (Civitas Press, 2011).

Phyllis Mathis is a long-time spiritual teacher, lay leader, former pastor, Ontological Coach and Licensed Professional Counselor (www.phyllismathis.com) who has been practicing for over 20 years. A seasoned writer, retreat facilitator and a beginning potter, she is the co-creator of the forthcoming course:The Iconic Self (Jen Lee Productions, 2012).

 

I’ve gotta say though, coming to a group on Facebook that openly claims to feel hurt by “the church” and divebombing them with Hebrews 10:25 doesn’t seem to be the wisest move. Especially with such assumptive, programmed 500 word comments. Most of the people who’ve clicked “like” on our churchburned site aren’t interested in destroying the church, but rebuilding it, or as Frank Viola puts it, “Reimagining Church.”

Hebrews 10:22-24

let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

I recently read a great piece by Maggie at the Alternative Church blog (http://alternativechurch.wordpress.com/2008/07/05/my-journey-to-hebrews-1025/), that shared a great perspective on Hebrews 10:25.

She begins by sharing what she realized Hebrews 10:25 does not say:

• It didn’t say be sure to go to church every Sunday.
• It didn’t say be sure that you gather in a specially designed building.
• It didn’t say be sure you join an institution.
• It didn’t say gather in one place around one primary leader.
• It didn’t say make sure you hear a 1-hour sermon every week (or a 40-minute one, or a 30-minute one).
• It didn’t even say how often to meet.

… and then continues with a few things that the text does say about the true purpose of Christian community:

• To draw near to God
• To experience forgiveness
• To help each other hold fast and to not waver in our faith
• To spur each other on to love and good deeds
• To encourage each other

If your church is working, and helping you fulfill the Hebrews 10:22-25 mandate, praise God. Good for you and the people that surround you. Unfortunately, this is just not the case for many churches, especially organized, institutional ones. And while I rejoice with you that you find yourself in an positive, encouraging Christian community, it isn’t helpful to refute the claims of people who feel they’ve been hurt by the church with claims that the problem isn’t with the church, it’s with them.

You should read some of the comments posted on the churchburned facebook page… then again maybe you shouldn’t. I often wonder, “are you trying to prove the point? …that the church can hurt people?” Some of these commenters are so focused on telling “the truth” that the whole “love” thing has flown out the window.

Again, I am not saying these people are trying to kick the hurting while they’re down. They are just in a different place on their own journeys. Most of the time, and I know this to be true for me for sure, we form opinions and comment out of our own experiences.

I’ve literally had this comment or one very similar, from several angry people over the last few months:

“You just need to shut up, submit and get back in line.”

Yup, that makes me want to call your church my church home. You did it. You healed me. But seriously, how do we get from here to there? How do we go from hurt to healed?

Love. Community. Church.

The church is not a thing. It is not a building. It’s who we are. We are a community of followers, following Jesus together.

A good friend of mine puts it this way:

The word is “Assembly”, not “Church Service.” We are so offended as Christians to hear that someone isn’t attending church services because we lack tangible evidence that they are serving God. I tried to say that with a straight face. The reason why it offends us is because that person is not a possession of the church that you are. For that reason they are free to express themselves in a way that might not be in your control. The bottom line is people have to be in control, and they will use scripture to manipulate others to be in control.

When is the last time you assembled to help a friend who was in need and then directly were a part in helping that person? When is the last time you assembled and shared Communion with other Christ followers in your home or in theirs? When was the last time you assembled to share in either the joy or sorrow of people that are the most important to you and you were vulnerable both ways? When was the last time you assembled to talk to a fellow Christ follower about sin in their life that left them feeling loved and empowered to be a better person?

Church is so common that you don’t ever have to face reality. Assembly is rare, to the point that when it is authentic most of us don’t feel comfortable to be a part of it. I would have to do some explaining, but true “assembling” has been forsaken by so many people who sit in the seats of a church building that it confuses someone who does not know Christ. You wonder why people aren’t being “added to them daily.”

So yes, let’s gather together, let’s encourage each other, let’s assemble as family, like healthy families do. Get together with someone, have coffee, talk, go deep.

Church. It’s not something we go to, it’s who we are.

Can you imagine?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(If this were a TV movie in the late eighties or early nineties, this is where I would slowly zoom in and apply a blur and fade, so you, the viewer knew you were watching a dream sequence. And, fade in…)

DAD: Welcome to the Klassen family’s breakfast table this beautiful Sunday morning. Isn’t it a great day to eat breakfast together? It is a good thing to come together and share a meal together, amen?

ALL (Mom and their two daughters): Amen!

DAD: (looks out over the dining room table as if a thousand people are seated with the four of them) I’m so glad to see that you all made it out today. Let us stand as I pray.

As Dad prays, and every daughter’s head is bowed and every daughter’s eyes are closed, Mom will slip out silently and serve the oatmeal. Dad prays with one eye open and one eye closed so that he can time the closing sentence of the prayer with the final bowl being filled. There. Spoon is down.

DAD: …and every one says?

ALL: Amen!

DAD: You may be seated. Let us eat breakfast together.

Family begins to eat. After about a minute or so, Dad puts his spoon down and Mom stands, dabs her mouth with her napkin before speaking.

MOM: Girls, please turn your attention to Dad, he’s going to do a special demonstration involving toast. You are all going to love it. While he makes his way up here, please stand as we pray.

Mom prays, thanking God again for such a beautiful time eating breakfast together and then glances sideways to see if Dad is ready. He nods and she concludes the prayer.

DAD: (jumps up, smiling) (Family claps) You may be seated. Thank-you. It’s an honour to eat with you this beautiful morning. I’d just like to say a few words about my experiences with toast. We all enjoy toast, don’t we?

ALL: Amen!

DAD: Well, I used to eat only white toast (holds up a piece of white bread) but it wasn’t very good for me. I really wasn’t taking care of my body. After a few years, someone introduced me to brown toast. After experiencing the benefits of the additional fiber,  I repented of my white toast eating ways, and I forever turned away from the enticing sweet smelling white bread. I now make a choice every morning to choose whole wheat bread.

Turn to someone beside you and say, “Whole. Wheat. Bread.”

ALL: Whole. Wheat. Bread!

DAD: Say it again!

ALL: Whole. Wheat. Bread!

DAD: One more time!

ALL: Whole. Wheat. BREAD!

DAD: Amen. Please, eat your bread. Now, please turn your attention to Mom for some exciting announcements for the upcoming week.

MOM: (with her mouth full of whole wheat toast, makes a hand signal to request more time)

DAD: But first, as she makes her way up here, let’s pray…(prays until Mom is ready)

DAD: and, Amen! Okay, here’s Mom with those exciting announcements!

MOM: Thanks, Dad. Okay, so first up, who likes meatloaf? Because tomorrow night, Monday night, is Meatloaf monday! We’re all in for an exciting treat. We’ll partake of an amazing dinner made by yours truly, and we’ll be learning all about meatloaf and the bible. You are all going to love it.

On Tuesday afternoon, we are excited to be starting up our Daughters of Devotion small group! Who in this room are daughters?

(the two daughters, aged five and six, raise their hands)

MOM: Awesome! I see all those hands! You are all going to love this. Please remember to bring a snack to share.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, okay, okay. Fade to black.

Enough :)

I could probably write this all day, but I think I’ve made the point I’m trying to make. A family would never act like this! So why do we put on such a show when get together with other members of the family of God?

We use prayer as a transitionary piece in our services, we formalize everything, anything we do together has to have a program name, logo, and even website. That’s not church, that’s not family. I know that it all started with good intentions, but it’s become so stiff, so contrived that more christians (family members) are opting out from attending church (family gatherings), because they just aren’t feeling the love.

One more thing. When someone isn’t choosing to come to church family gatherings, it isn’t helpful to call them up just to tell them that if they want to be part of the family they have to attend.

“The rules of the family are that you must come to our gatherings!” seemingly angry but supposedly well-intentioned people assert, continuing, “Do not forsake our family reunions!”

This kind of thing is pretty useless when it comes to drawing family members from the fringe, it usually just pushes them further away. It’s time to be a family. Come on guys. I bet that in 9 out of 10 conversations that have featured the word “excommunication,” a much more positive result could have been achieved with a hug, a listening ear and whole lot of love.

Okay. Fire away. Drop Hebrews 10:25 on me. Again.

peace.

N.T. Wright Interview: “Simply Jesus” & Wright Responds to Critics

Click this link to read the unedited interview:

http://frankviola.org/2012/01/23/ntwright

Scot McKnight Interview: “The King Jesus Gospel” & McnKnight Responds to Critics

Click this link to read the unedited interview:

http://frankviola.org/2012/02/08/scotmcknight

A Worship Leader’s Lament

Row behind row
pew beyond pew
a pulpit, a preacher,
an audience and You?

Song and sermon series
for weeks on they shout
like politicians selling “change!”
yet we leave without

Finding a path
that is narrow and straight
it’s the man-made “experience”
that gets in the way

I tune out the sell job
and turn my heart toward His
somewhere beyond the catchphrases
there must be more than this

To follow after Jesus
is to follow His ways
to love Him and love people
and do the words that he says

Suddenly I’m awakened
jolted from my half-sleep
summoned now to serenade
and manipulate the sheep

Approaching the stage
still shaking off my daydream
I’ll bring it all together
with an easy-listening comfort-theme

It’s now ten past noon
the service went late
off to the buffet line
with my fork and my plate.

Maybe by next Sunday
it will finally sink in
we’ll take our first steps outside
and begin to truly follow Him.

Here’s a couple of excerpts from Mike’s blog:

…from part 1…
Much abuse has happened under the banner of Christianity. And, much of it is has a response similar to my Sunday school teacher‘s, “Don’t question the Church. Don’t question the Bible. Don’t question God.” Still, it has not stopped a few brave people, a few courageous prophets from saying, “This doesn’t work for me. This can’t be all that there is.” Along the way, these brave, courageous souls are met with much resistance and much hostility. They’re met with a certain kind of violence, a violence to the soul. They’re met with a spiritual abuse.

…from part 4…
This is the hope out of the great tragedy of spiritual abuse. We are able to incarnate a selfless glory. We are able to bring about a community of love. Our wounds can be a healing presence for others. We can either be arrogant victims or wounded healers. In learning to forgive, to give up control, we hand our wounds over to God and to others as an offering of hope, wisdom, and love.

Here are the links to Mike’s series:

Recovering From Abusive Christianity pt 1

Recovering From Abusive Christianity pt 2

Recovering From Abusive Christianity pt 3

Recovering From Abusive Christianity pt 4

Rising from the Ashes

So you knocked me down
and you told your lies
You kicked me around
and then you made me cry

But I still feel so sorry for you
I bet that you’re in pain too
It must hurt so bad to be consumed by you

You pounded your chest
You “showed me who’s boss”
Now you can give it a rest
cause I am rising above you

Your icy, angry heart
left me standing in the cold
I know that you’d melt if
I’d just do as I was told

But here’s the thing, this fear of flame
It doesn’t bind me anymore
There are no chains to crush my heart
I’m free to fly, I’m free to soar

See you thought that I would take it
That I’d kneel down and fake it
I bet you were surprised when I said goodbye

All I could do was walk out
and leave you there to find out
what all went wrong and hope that you’ll realize

Your cruel words jumped me to my feet
Your controlling hands will have no place to squeeze
As I take my cue to leave and finally learn to breathe

But I still feel so sorry for you
I bet that you’re in pain too
It must hurt so bad to be consumed by you

I was knocked down and fed lies
I was kicked around and left to die

Watch now
as I rise